Do I Love Her? A Deep Dive into Understanding Your Feelings
Love is perhaps the most complex and powerful emotion and might cause confusion when people do not know what they feel. When you are in a relationship or thinking about someone special, you naturally find yourself asking the question, “Do I love him?” It is quite confusing to distinguish love from utility and attachment and to figure out where your feelings are.
This article will help trace what actually falls under the definitive understanding of loving someone, signs of real love, and knowing how one should segregate love from other emotions.
Complications of love
It is such a complicated emotion. It’s can anything to anyone. It is not just butterflies in your stomach when you see someone or the rush of excitement that overflows once you receive a text.
While these can be portions of the experience, love goes much, much deeper. It involves love, commitment, care, respect, and mutual understanding. Being asked, “Do I love him?” brings about the evaluation of what love really means to you.
Some of the essential ingredients of love are as follows:
Affection: A warm, tender feeling for someone.
Respect: valuing other people’s thoughts, desires, and uniqueness.
Commitment: staying through the good and the bad.
Caring: real concern for his/ her happiness and well-being.
Intimacy: Emotional response which is much deeper connection with another person than merely physical attraction.
If these are the feelings and traits you experience in your relationship, you may really be in love. But how do you determine if you are loving or merely infatuated?
Love vs Infatuation
Frequently, “Do I love him?” The question arises because of confusion between the terms love and utility. Infatuation is characterized by an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for an individual. Often,
it is founded on idealization or physical attraction. It becomes overwhelming and consumed,
yet it fades with the relationship development. Love deepens over time and is more long-lasting.
Features of an infection:
Strong attraction: You experience strong physi- cal attraction to the other person but don’t know much about his personality.
Idealization: You put him on a pedestal and only observe good qualities.
Obsession: You can’t stop thinking about it, and your feelings feel totally uncontrollable.
Short-term focus: Your relationship can be amazing for you right now but very difficult to think of your future with this relationship.
Infatuation is definitely part of the first stages of love. But it is only just not enough to carry a relationship for long. If your emotions are based remotely on attraction or admiration, then you may want to take some time to figure out if your feelings will last.
Love vs attachment
Another tricky aspect that the question “Do I love him?” then introduces is attachment. Most have confused the terms simply because of the fact that both usually call for a bond between two different people.
Attachment still calls for the fear of losing and dependency on the other person for emotional or physical comfort, while love calls for affection and respect towards each other.
Attachment Symbols:
Dependency: you depend on him for emotional fulfillment or happiness.
Living in awe of being alone: You stay in this relationship because you are afraid of what life would be without him.
So, you prefer to live in comfort rather than passion or excitement in a relationship.
Relationship should become a routine for a person.
Attachment often blossoms into a long-term relationship, but it doesn’t mean you love the person. If you’re living with him because life is convenient or you don’t want to be alone,
it’s definitely worth the difference to know whether you are still in love or just stuck on attachment because of his security.
Signs You Really Love Him
If you have reached that crossroads of asking, “Do I love him? then here are some signs that you can look for. Although love is different for everyone, here are common signs that your feelings go beyond infatuation or attachment:
You care about her happiness.
One of the markings of love is that you care very much for the happiness of another person without it necessarily becoming your own. If you observe his ways of getting you to smile or making you feel good about yourself, then it’s a great show of love. True love engages in selfless acts where her well-being is just as significant as yours.
You respect him.
Love is respect. You love him for who he is-strengths, weaknesses, and all. Don’t try to change him, encourage him to become the very best version of himself. If you can accept and respect that, even in disagreement or at bad times, then your feelings are very probably based on love.
You see a future together.
You can envision two of you growing into a life together, building something together, or helping one another over the struggles of life. When you envision the long term with him, that doesn’t scare you off but gives you hope, then that’s a pretty good indicator of love.
You are emotionally intimate.
Love is not only body attraction. Emotional intimacy is a strong feeling of security where you are comfortable and open to share your thoughts, fears, and dreams with him.
If you feel that he understands you at the deepest emotional level and you communicate with each other very easily and convincingly, this again proves the presence of true love.
You don’t mind fighting.
All relationships experience problems, but love makes you feel compelled to work through conflict rather than giving in. If willing to work out differences, compromise and try to grow together,
then that is a clear indication that your feelings go far beyond superficial attraction.
You support his goals.
Love means being each other’s biggest cheerleader. If you really want to see her accomplish anything more in her personal or professional life, and you’re willing to push her toward her goals and dreams,
that is a pretty good indication you love her. .
Is it love or something else?
Now that you have seen the major signs of love, attraction, and attachment, it is time to take a very serious look at your feelings. Ask yourself these questions:
Do I care about his happiness more than myself?
Am I able to respect and appreciate him even when we disagree?
Can I imagine a future with him, and does the thought of this give joy to my life?
Do I want to fight through the tough times with him?
Do I feel in tune emotionally and safe with him?
If you ticked, then you probably found true love. If your feels are in charge when it comes to physical attraction, routine or dreads the thought of being alone, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
Read More: Emotional attraction: The unsung hero of long-lasting relationships
The result
Love is one of the most complex and multifaceted emotions that can be quite hard to define. It is perfectly alright to question your feelings, especially when it is new or you are having some problem with the relationship.
If you take some time to understand the difference between love and attraction and attachment,
and if you consider the core signs of love, you could better be able to understand your feelings and whether what you feel is true. They are real.
Finally, love is not something you have to force or rush in. Let feelings develop naturally, and trust that, in time, you would know if you truly loved him or not.
